i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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