hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
