I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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