I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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