I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
