drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
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