Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
