Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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