The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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