I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
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