Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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