I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
