I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
