Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
