I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
