You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
its liver damage thursday
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
