the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
