Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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