so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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