Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
