Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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