I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
