he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
