pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
