Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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