i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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