I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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