He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
