I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
