he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the condom got lost in my hair
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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