Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
