it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
