if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Bring me that man meat
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
