would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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