Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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