I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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