Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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