I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We left the knife in your bed.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
