I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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