I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
