the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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