I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
