The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
