You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
