so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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