It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
