He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
