Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
