But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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