We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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