Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
