Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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