Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
