Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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