good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
